


is there nothing I can do

by TardisIsTheOnlyWayToTravel



Series: on the run verse [2]
Category: Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe, Anakin has been keeping secrets and Obi-Wan wants to know what they are, Gen, Obi-Wan asks questions he doesn't really want the answer to, Slightly Altered Timeline, mentions of Padme/Anakin (but this is not the focus of the fic)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-29
Updated: 2016-01-29
Packaged: 2018-05-16 23:30:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5845135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TardisIsTheOnlyWayToTravel/pseuds/TardisIsTheOnlyWayToTravel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>It was only after the Jedi Council received news of uprisings and assassinations on the planet Tatooine that Obi-Wan began to understand – at least a little – why his former apprentice had decided to leave the Jedi Order.</i>
</p><p> </p><p>In which Obi-Wan learns that just because someone has been freed doesn't mean that they will forget what it is like to be a slave, and slowly unravels the mystery of why Anakin left the Jedi Order.</p>
            </blockquote>





	is there nothing I can do

**Author's Note:**

> _This is the sequel/companion fic to_ ain't no life to live like you're on the run. _It was supposed to be shorter than the original fic, ahaha. Please note this fic ignores the Star Wars Extended Universe._

**is there nothing I can do**

It was only after the Jedi Council received news of uprisings and assassinations on the planet Tatooine that Obi-Wan began to understand – at least a little – why his former apprentice had decided to leave the Jedi Order.

Anakin’s announcement that he intended to leave the Order had come as a serious shock to everyone within it, and to Obi-Wan most of all. Obi-Wan was completely blind-sided: at the time, it seemed that Anakin’s decision had come out of nowhere. To Obi-Wan, it seemed that there had never been any signs that Anakin was reconsidering his life as a Jedi. And to resign from the Order on the same day as he finished his time as a padawan, and was offered the rank of Jedi knight…

Well. People began wondering, some of them less discreetly than others, if Obi-Wan might have somehow played a role in Anakin’s decision. After all, why else wouldn’t Anakin have confided in Obi-Wan that he had reservations about being part of the Order?

“Know of his misgivings, you did not,” Grand Master Yoda said, after Anakin had handed in his lightsaber and left the Temple.

“No, Master Yoda,” said Obi-Wan, feeling that he had somehow failed Anakin, if he only he could work out _how_. “I did not.”

“Hmm,” was all Grand Master Yoda said, leaving Obi-Wan to his perturbed thoughts.

For a couple of months, Obi-Wan found himself going over the problem in his mind: there had been nothing wrong, as far as Obi-Wan could tell – and yet there had to be something wrong, or Anakin wouldn’t have ever left the Order…

And then, a few months after Anakin walked out of the Temple without even a word to Obi-Wan, Obi-Wan heard about the upheaval on Tatooine.

Someone had been assassinating the Hutts, and encouraging the slaves of Tatooine to revolt against their masters. According to gossip, the one behind it all was a mysterious cloaked figure… who wielded a bright blue lightsaber. With that information to hand, it wasn’t hard for Obi-Wan to put two and two together.

Disregarding the issue, for the moment, of how Anakin could possibly have a lightsaber after turning ihis in – Obi-Wan knew that the mysterious leader of the slave uprising _had_ to be Anakin. And suddenly, with that knowledge, Obi-Wan found himself regarding Anakin’s resignation from the Order in a new light.

Obi-Wan found himself thinking, for the first time in years, of Anakin in his early days at the Temple. He’d been a passionate, compassionate child, who had talked a great deal of freeing the other slaves on Tatooine. As he’d gotten older, however, he’d focused more on his studies, on becoming a proper Jedi in all respects, and had stopped speaking of his plans to free the slaves. Obi-Wan had assumed, at the time, that Anakin was moving past the trauma of his upbringing, and taking to the Jedi teachings.

Now, Obi-Wan wondered, for the first time, if perhaps all that happened was that Anakin learned to hide his pain and his ambitions, in order to avoid censure and disapproval. The thought pained him.

Looking back, Obi-Wan remembered dozens of times when Anakin was chided for caring too much about the fate of a few… to those who had grown up among the Jedi, it was clear that Anakin needed to focus on the big picture, to understand that to make changes on a small scale action on a large one was needed, to see that the slaves whose cause Anakin so fiercely championed were only one part of a greater whole…

But perhaps, it occurred to Obi Wan now, perhaps Anakin never understood why the Jedi chided him, and took it for indifference on their part, rather than prioritizing. Or perhaps, Obi-Wan thought sadly, Anakin _did_ understand… and simply felt that the Order’s priorities were wrong.

Not for the first time, Obi-Wan was troubled by the fact that the Jedi had never had the resources to do as Anakin wished, and freed the slaves. He had not been shocked, to find out that the most basic of the Republic’s laws on personhood were so openly flouted in the Outer Rim territories, but he _had_ been saddened. He had always sympathised with Anakin when it came to the slaves’ plight: but Obi-Wan had a distance from the issue that Anakin lacked, and reluctantly acknowledged that as long as the war with the Separatists was taking place, the preservation of democracy across the entire galaxy took precedence over the freedom of a few slaves.

Obi-Wan wondered if perhaps he should have assured Anakin that the day would come when the slaves would be freed… or if Anakin would only have taken him for a liar.

The matter was moot, now – the slaves were being freed, by a young man who, it seemed, had never forgotten how it felt to be one of them – but Obi-Wan pondered the issue, all the same.

Obi-Wan was not the only one who had heard about the uprisings on Tatooine, however, as he found out during the next Council meeting.

“Something must be done about the situation!” said one of the other Jedi Masters.

“Something _is_ being done about the situation,” said Obi-Wan, because while he deplored assassination as a tactic, he had to admit that short of the Republic storming in and taking control of the planet from the Hutts criminal network, the slaves never would have been freed – and the Republic as a whole had other things on its mind, at present. “Unless you mean to say that you would prefer those people had remained in slavery?” Obi-Wan adds pointedly.

“Of course not! But the entire planet has become politically unstable!”

“Compassion a Jedi has, for those who are less fortunate,” said Grand Master Yoda. “Blind us to the suffering of others, political concerns should not. A good thing, perhaps, this revolution is.”

“And yet, the political instability could affect every other planet in that section of the Outer Rim,” said Master Windu.

Obi-Wan frowned.

"Whether it causes political upheaval or not, in the end, freeing the slaves is the only just course of action, and whoever this mystery assassin is, I applaud him for it. I may not like his methods, but there is no denying he is achieving results."

“Enough!” Grand Master Yoda brought his walking stick down against the floor. “Deliberated on this, we have. Intervene in this matter the Jedi will not.”

With Grand Master Yoda issuing such a definitive statement, the discussion moved on. But Obi-Wan continued to think about the revolution on Tatooine for a long time.

Anakin was always such a lonely child, so full of pain. Obi-Wan had always hoped that with time, the ways of the Jedi would be enough to soothe that pain away, that Anakin would learn to find serenity no matter what his circumstances.

But perhaps Anakin was never meant for serenity – look at what he had accomplished, with nothing but his anger and determination… Obi-Wan shied away from the thought, because it was perilously close to contradicting one of the central tenets of the Order – that unbridled emotion, anger most of all, is dangerous in itself, and a path to the Dark Side.

And yet, Obi-Wan could not quite forget what it had helped Anakin achieve…

Over the months that followed, Obi-Wan followed the news from Tatooine whenever he had a free moment. Tatooine was changing: it was still a hub of petty crime, out in the far reaches of the Republic’s influence, but more and more slaves were being freed and integrated into the changing society of Tatooine. Eventually, Obi-Wan thought, slaves would cease to be the backbone of the economy, replaced by freedmen and women earning an honest wage.

Eventually it became common news that the mysterious saviour of the slaves of Tatooine was none other than Anakin Skywalker, former Jedi - and that he was planning to run for the position of senator of Tatooine. Obi-Wan laughed when he heard that, trying to imagine Anakin sitting still through hours of political discourse. Nonetheless, Obi-Wan doubted there was anyone on Tatooine who would be more devoted to their people than Anakin was, and wished his former padawan well.

Nearly a year after Anakin left the Jedi Order, Obi-Wan was delighted when Anakin paid him a visit at the Temple. He had come to understand that on some level, he had failed his padawan; it had hurt when after years of sharing a padawan-master bond, Anakin had walked away without another word to him, even though Obi-Wan now had some understanding of _why_ Anakin had done so.

Anakin looked markedly different from the last time Obi-Wan had seen him: with his hair grown out and his skin tattooed with odd markings, snippets of some kind of wood wrapped around his arms with cord, Anakin almost looked like a different person. But Anakin moved with confidence and surety, and a certain leonine grace, and whatever had changed in him, Obi-Wan thought that it was for the good.

But Anakin’s mood was grim, and as soon as the two of them were alone, Anakin cut the small-talk short.

“You need to hear this,” he said, and played back a holo recording.

It was of Anakin himself, talking to the Supreme Chancellor of the Republic, Sheev Palpatine. And what they spoke of was enough to make Obi-Wan’s mood as grim as Anakin’s.

Reforming the Republic into an empire, getting rid of the Jedi altogether… it is clear that Palpatine’s plans are far more devious and sinister than Obi-Wan would ever have believed. The Chancellor has always seemed to be such a kindly, understanding old man.

But then, Obi-Wan should have known by now that not everything was always as it seemed.

“The rest of the Council needs to hear this,” he said to Anakin. “May I keep this?” He gestures to the recording and the playback device. Anakin nodded.

“Then I shall take it to the Council straight away,” said Obi-Wan. He sent Anakin once last glance before he turned to leave.

“By the way, congratulations on your work on Tatooine,” he said, meaning it, and saw Anakin’s expression turn to astonishment and pleasure even as he turned away.

It was only halfway to the Council chambers that it occurred to Obi-Wan that the fact that Anakin brought this recording to him – not to one of the more senior members of the Council – showed a certain degree of trust. Bolstered by this, Obi-Wan hurried on.

As expected, the Council spent all afternoon deliberating about what was to be done about the situation. The recording Anakin had brought them proved that the Chancellor was conspiring to commit treason by overthrowing the Republic… something which was a criminal offence for which he could be arrested. But arresting a political figure with as much power as Palpatine wielded would be a tricky thing indeed, and when you figured in his popularity with the people… well, if things went badly, the Republic could become even more unstable that it already was.

But in the end, as Master Windu said, the Jedi could not afford to ignore Palpatine’s treasonous plans – nor the implication that he intended to act against the Jedi. Finally, late in the afternoon, it was decided: Master Windu and Master Ki-Adi-Mundi would go to arrest the Chancellor and formally charge him with conspiring to commit treason.

The arrest itself shouldn’t have been too difficult. After all, the Chancellor was an older man, a politician rather than a warrior, and unlikely to put up a fight. His staff might ask certain pointed questions, and politically things were going to descend into chaos… but the arrest itself should have been fairly easy.

It wasn’t. Not at all.

Obi-Wan felt a disturbance in the Force, as though for an instant, some great and malevolent presence had unveiled itself; but then the feeling was gone, leaving only an imprint of what had been, faded and ghostlike. Obi-Wan knew not what to make of it – not until Masters Windu and Ki-Adi-Mundi returned to the Temple, bearing grave news for the Jedi Council.

“The Chancellor is the Sith Lord we have been searching for,” Master Windu said bluntly. His words fell like a hammer-blow, stunning his audience.

“How is that possible?” Obi-Wan heard himself say, dazed; his words were echoed by the others, with varying degrees of shock and disbelief.

Master Windu looked grim, and somewhere beneath that, exhausted.

“Somehow, he has been hiding his presence,” he said. “But he has been here, all this time, controlling the Republic.”

“I would never have believed it, but just for a moment, he allowed us to sense his presence in the Force,” said Master Ki-Adi-Mundi. “It was monstrous.”

Obi-Wan thought of the moment that he had sensed that malevolent presence, so powerful in the Force, and barely suppressed a shudder.

“Avoided capture, he has,” said Grand Master Yoda quietly.

Master Windu nodded, and rubbed a hand over his face. It was a sign of how tired he was; normally, he had far too much self-discipline to show any indicators of discomfort.

“We weren’t expecting to fight a Sith Lord,” said Master Windu. “He used the presence of his staff to his advantage, using them as a shield. We were unable to detain him.”

“Know now where he is, you do not,” said Grand Master Yoda, and Master Windu said:

“No. We do not.”

It was a sombre group of Jedi Masters who discussed the problem, deep into the night. Obi-Wan fell into bed sometime in the early morning, and slept only fitfully, despite meditating before bed. The very Force itself seemed troubled. How – _how_ – had they never detected Palpatine’s malicious presence, before? However he had hidden himself, it was an art that the Jedi had never mastered. They had never seen any need. But now, with a Sith Lord on the loose, a Sith Lord with plans to rule the galaxy and destroy the Jedi…

The next morning, Obi-Wan knew that he needed to see Anakin. His former padawan must be informed of what Palpatine was. The rest of the Council would not likely approve, but no one had thought to forbid Obi-Wan from doing such a thing, and Obi-Wan knew that it was necessary. Palpatine had always taken an unusual interest in Anakin – one which, thank the Force, Anakin had never seemed to reciprocate, behind the mask of polite curiosity he always used around Palpatine – and if he came after Anakin for any reason, Anakin needed to be prepared.

The problem was, Obi-Wan had no idea where on Coruscant Anakin was living, and Anakin had only a limited number of known associates on the planet who might be able to tell Obi-Wan where Anakin was. Finding him could be difficult.

In the end, Obi-Wan went to pay an early morning visit to Senator Amidala, who had always been friendly with Anakin. Hopefully no one would remark upon his visit, so early in the morning; the last thing Obi-Wan wanted was to draw Palpatine’s attention to the Senator.

Obi-Wan did not in the slightest expect Anakin to open Senator Amidala’s door. While holding a baby.

Obi-Wan stared at the sight before him. He’d known, of course, that Senator Amidala had recently given birth to twins, but he’d never actually encountered either of them. Now – staring at the young child in Anakin’s arms – he was struck forcibly by how like Anakin’s own presence in the Force this infant’s Force signature was. There was no mistaking who the father had to be. Just like that, another piece in the mystery of who Anakin really was slotted into place.

“I should have known,” said Obi-Wan – because Anakin always had been very fond of Senator Amidala. And if Anakin was willing to leave the Order behind so easily, why should Obi-Wan be surprised that Anakin hadn’t believed it necessary to keep to the Jedi Code? In retrospect, Anakin having a secret, forbidden relationship with Senator Amidala made _so much sense._ Anakin had been leading a double-life, all along; the reason why they had been so blind-sided by Anakin’s resignation from the Order was that the Anakin they knew had only been one part of a whole, and possibly nothing more than a mask.

Obi-Wan tried not to feel hurt at Anakin’s deception, even knowing that as a Jedi Master, it would have been his duty to report Anakin’s breach of the Jedi Code to the rest of the Council. But he had been Anakin’s teacher and mentor, and he had believed – until Anakin’s resignation and lack of further communication between them had shaken that belief to its foundations – that the two of them had shared a bond because of their relationship. But now – he wondered if any of it had ever been real, where Anakin was concerned.

Taking a deep breath, Obi-Wan dismissed his emotions, and focused on the issue that had brought him to Senator Amidala’s residence.

“May I come in? You should get Senator Amidala, as well.”

Anakin stepped aside, allowing Obi-Wan to enter, and disappeared into another room, baby still in his arms. Obi-Wan stayed in the living room, and tried not to feel uncomfortable as a sleep-rumpled Senator Amidala followed Anakin back out again, wearing a robe thrown over her nightgown for the sake of modesty. Anakin was still nursing the baby, who was making thin, quiet sounds that suggested that they were considering whether or not they were displeased by current events.

Anakin and Senator Amidala sat down on one of the comfortable sofas, their proximity a certain indicator of their relationship, if Obi-Wan hadn’t already worked that out. Obi-Wan tried not to be distracted by that and the baby, and took a seat on the sofa opposite the couple.

He explained, as briefly and succinctly as he could, what had transpired since he had last spoken to Anakin.

Senator Amidala was clearly shocked and horrified, but Anakin seemed… horrified, yes, but almost unsurprised. Obi-Wan thought back to Anakin’s wall of politeness whenever the Chancellor was around, and wondered for the first time if Anakin had sensed something that the rest of them had missed.

“You never trusted him, did you?” asks Obi-Wan, as Senator Amidala clutched Anakin’s free arm for comfort.

Anakin shook his head.

“Why?”

Anakin hesitated for a moment, then:

“He was too persuasive. Manipulative,” Anakin corrects himself. “And when other people did all the work, he profited from it. He was always in the right place at the right time, and that’s never a coincidence.”

“The rest of the Jedi never thought so,” Obi-Wan points out.

Anakin’s expression turned stony.

“The Jedi were wrong,” he said – not _the other Jedi,_ just _the Jedi_ , as though Anakin had never considered himself one of them. It was telling, and there was an intensity in Anakin’s voice that said that this, to Anakin, wasn’t the only thing that the Jedi were wrong about.

Obi-Wan wanted to ask what else Anakin thought the Jedi did wrong, but bit the question back; partly because he was afraid of the answer, and partly because now wasn’t the time. Instead, he said:

“He wants nothing less than complete rule over this galaxy, and we have no idea where he is, or how to stop him. Worse, if news of this gets out – which it will – the public may very well turn against us.”

“Then go to the media first,” said Senator Amidala. “Give them the holo Anakin recorded. Address the Senate before Palpatine has the chance.”

“She’s right,” said Anakin, leaning forward. “Use this time to your advantage. Tell the public the truth, and don’t hold back. Tell them about the Sith and what they do. Palpatine will stop at nothing to rule the galaxy, and the public needs to know that. This is a war the Jedi need to win.”

“I know,” said Obi-Wan, “but it may not be enough.”

“Tell them that Palpatine engineered the war with the Separatists in the first place.”

“We don’t have enough evidence–”

“You don’t need evidence,” Anakin argued. “Tell the people anyway. Tell them that Palpatine engineered the war right from the beginning, that it was all part of his plan to achieve his current position. You _know_ that it’s true, Obi-Wan, whether you have the evidence or not. And the people won’t care – the suggestion that Palpatine is a criminal mastermind will be enough to get people worried and make them rethink their attitude towards him.”

Obi-Wan sighed, and stroked his beard reflexively. It all sounded simple enough, but…

“I don’t know that the Council will _listen_ , Anakin.”

The Council would take time to come to a decision, and in that time, Palpatine would be free to make his next move – and that was if the Council agreed with Anakin and Senator Amidala’s plan, which they might very well not.

“Then we’ll do it.” Senator Amidala said resolutely. “We’ll release the information. Anakin used to be a Jedi, people will believe that he still has connections inside the Jedi Order who can give him this information. And that recording Anakin made will be enough to convince people.”

“I dearly hope you’re right,” said Obi-Wan.

He didn’t stay long after that. Anakin’s presence was too unsettling, raised too many questions, and besides, with Palpatine at large, Obi-Wan was needed at the Temple.

He arrived back at the Temple only to discover that in his absence another meeting of the Council had been called, and that he was half an hour late.

“My apologies,” said Obi-Wan, as he joined the rest of the Council in chambers. “I was absent from the Temple when the notification of this meeting went out, and I did not receive it.”

“Absent from the Temple, at a time like this?” asked Master Ti. “What could possibly have been so urgent?”

“I thought it necessary to warn Anakin Skywalker of Palpatine’s true nature,” said Obi-Wan, and there was a ripple of surprise and disapproval among the other members of the Council.

“Was it wise to broadcast our situation to one who is no longer part of our Order?” asked Master Windu, voicing the thoughts of the rest of the Council.

“Palpatine has always taken a strange interest in Anakin,” Obi-Wan responded. “Under the circumstances, I thought it best that he and Senator Amidala were warned.”

“Senator Amidala?” asked one of the other Jedi Masters. “What does she have to do with this?”

Obi-Wan took a deep breath, and let it out.

“I discovered that Anakin is not only in a relationship with Senator Amidala, but is the father of her infant children,” he said, trying to keep his voice as calm as possible, despite his conflicted thoughts on the matter.

There was a shocked silence.

“Well,” said Master Windu, with his usual dryness, “that seems sufficient reason to leave the Order.”

“Yes,” said Obi-Wan. He did not say: _But what other reasons did Anakin have, of which I still know nothing?_

Grand Master Yoda peered at Obi-Wan, his gaze wise and far too percipient.

“Troubled, you are, by your discovery.”

Obi-Wan lowered his eyes for a moment, trying to formulate his thoughts before he looked up again, to meet Grand Master Yoda’s eyes.

“I’m beginning to wonder if any of us knew the real Anakin, or if the padawan we all thought we knew was simply another mask,” said Obi-Wan honestly.

There was a thoughtful silence as the other Council members absorbed this.

“You believe that Skywalker was concealing his true nature from us?” asked Master Ki-Adi-Mandi. “But why would he do such a thing?”

Obi-Wan hesitated, trying to pin down the nebulous concepts that had been forming in his mind, wondering how to explain them to others who would have even more trouble grasping them than he did.

“Perhaps he thought it was necessary, for his survival,” said Obi-Wan, a little hesitantly. “Lately, I have been thinking back to what he was like as a child, so full of compassion and a passionate desire to help others…” he trailed off, unable to find the words to express the doubts that niggled at him.

“Believe, you do, that outgrow those traits young Skywalker did not,” said Grand Master Yoda, far too perceptively.

“Oh, but surely not,” said one of the other Jedi Masters. “Surely we would have detected it if Skywalker were attempting to conceal such things.”

“As we detected the concealment of Palpatine?” asked Master Windu, irony heavy in his voice.

“Master Windu –” Obi-Wan began to protest, with some indignation, but Master Windu held up a hand.

“Peace, Master Kenobi,” he said. “I did not mean to imply that Skywalker hid his nature for similar reasons to Palpatine – only that our detection of such a deception is not assured. However, if what you believe is true, then perhaps it is for the best that he left the Jedi Order.”

Obi-Wan hesitated, because while he agreed with that statement, he did not mean the same thing by it as Master Windu. Master Windu, he suspected, meant that it was better for the Order that it did not have someone like Anakin in it… whereas to Obi-Wan, it was clear that Anakin had thrived since leaving the Order, and that leaving it had likely been a good decision for his general wellbeing. But Obi-Wan couldn’t help but feel that the Order had lost a young man full of great promise and potential, who could have done great things for the Order, even if the other Council members did not appreciate that fact.

“I suppose you are right,” was all that Obi-Wan said. “But I cannot help but feel that I have failed him.”

“Not suited to the life we lead, are all,” Grand Master Yoda spoke up. “Elsewhere, perhaps, young Skywalker’s path is. No lesser is he for choosing such a path.”

There was a rebuke there, not only to Obi-Wan, but to the other Masters.

“Of course, Master,” said Obi-Wan, and said no more.

The discussion turned back to Palpatine, and what the Order should do next to find him. As the discussion grew ever deeper without truly going anywhere, Obi-Wan found himself growing restless.

He thought: _The longer we sit here discussing this matter, the more sure it is that Palpatine will steal a march on us._

He thought: _If Anakin were here, he would be insisting that the Jedi comb all of Coruscant looking for Palpatine, because some action is better than none, no matter how fruitless that action may seem on the face of it._

And then Obi-Wan thought: _And perhaps he would be right._

For a moment, Obi-Wan tried to see the Council through Anakin’s eyes, as they continued to try and formulate a plan against Palpatine. The Jedi were increasingly being dragged into the war against the Separatists, but they were peacekeepers, not soldiers: they favoured contemplation over thoughtless action, diplomacy over battle. To be sure, the Jedi would fight when they believed that there was no other course, but fighting was, always, to be the course of last resort. Obi-Wan suspected that for a soldier, sometimes fighting was the most direct course of action – and given that the Jedi were increasingly being treated like soldiers, perhaps they should be taking on more of a soldier’s mindset if they wished to survive this war.

The Order had been the same for centuries: but with their ever-growing responsibilities, perhaps their current philosophy was no longer enough.

“Palpatine will resurface eventually. We can make our move then,” said Master Windu, and Obi-Wan thought with utter certainty: _By then_ _it will be too late._

But he kept his silence, and only hoped that Anakin and Senator Amidala’s press conference went well.

Part-way through the meeting, the Council was informed of Senator Amidala and Anakin’s press conference, and the fact that an emergency Senate session had been called for later in the day. Debate immediately ensued.

Obi-Wan was almost glad of a reason to temporarily leave the meeting when his comm went off. He excused himself, stepping out into the hallway to take the call. It was from Anakin.

“Anakin, now isn’t really the time–” Obi-Wan began, before he got a good look at Anakin’s face. Anakin’s eyes were wide and horrified, and Obi-Wan felt a sudden sense of dread. “Anakin. What is it?”

“The clones,” Anakin said desperately. “They have an inhibitor chip.”

Obi-Wan felt his expression change, because that sort of mental tampering went against everything the Order stood for.

“That’s–” he began, but Anakin interrupted him with even worse news.

“Obi-Wan, each chip is designed to override the trooper’s own decisions. Their sense of right and wrong, their sense of loyalty, everything. And each chip carries an executable order to kill every Jedi they come across. The order could be activated _at any time_.”

Obi-Wan didn’t ask how Anakin had discovered this information. He was too busy reeling.

“The Chancellor…”

“ _Has_ to have the code for the order to kill all Jedi,” Anakin finishes for him. “You have to warn the Order. Contact Kamino – there has to be an override code. _Something_.”

“Right,” says Obi-Wan, and ended the call. He stepped back into the Council chambers, and all of the other Council members turned to look at him, no doubt sensing his horror through the Force.

“You seem greatly disturbed,” said Master Windu. “What is it?”

Obi-Wan explained, repeating everything that Anakin had just told him. The other Jedi Masters stared at him in consternation and horror.

“I’ll contact Kamino immediately,” said Master Windu, getting swiftly to his feet. “Skywalker is right. They may have an override code.”

“Perhaps Skywalker is mistaken,” Master Ki-Adi-Mundi said. “How did he come by this information?”

“Matter, it does not,” Grand Master Yoda interrupted. He looked old and weary, ears drooping a little. “A trap the clone army is, to destroy us all. The work of the Sith Lord this is, I do not doubt. Too grateful for their assistance in this war, we were. Overlooked much, we have.”

Master Windu strode from the room without another word. Obi-Wan dearly hoped that he was successful in finding an override code. Otherwise… Obi-Wan contained a small shudder at the thought of hundreds of thousands of soldiers all turning on the Jedi at once. With such numbers against them, even the Jedi Masters, with their skills, would be hard-pressed to survive. And many of the Jedi were still children, either young enough to still live in the creches or old enough to have become a padawan. The thought of any of them being attacked by the clones filled Obi-Wan with unspeakable horror. He could tell that the other Council Members felt the same.

“Find Chancellor Palpatine, we must,” Grand Master Yoda continued. “Time is of the essence. Master Kenobi. Organise a search of Corsucant, you will.”

“Of course, Master,” Obi-Wan said with an inclination of the head, relieved to be given something to do. Sitting around, feeling helpless, was not something Obi-Wan liked. At least this way he might make himself useful. He glanced at Master Ti. “Master Ti, would you like to assist me?”

Master Ti nodded, and together, they left the Council chambers.

Obi-Wan was just beginning to organise groups of Jedi knights into patrols when his comm went off. He answered it immediately.

The call was from Senator Amidala. In the background Obi-Wan could hear the sound of lightsabers, and a cackling laugh that made his hair stand on end. Obi-Wan didn’t need Senator Amidala’s words to tell him what was going on.

“Palpatine is here!”

“Where are you?” Obi-Wan asked rapidly, gesturing for Master Ti to approach him.

“My apartment.” Senator Amidala’s voice is shaking. “Obi-Wan, he wants my children!”

Obi-Wan thought, with a jolt of renewed horror, of the twins – so strong in the Force, just like their father. If Palpatine got hold of either of them…

“We’ll be there as soon as possible,” said Obi-Wan. “Hold on, Senator.”

He ended the call, just as Master Ti joined him.

“Palpatine is at Senator Amidala’s apartment,” he said without preamble. “The rest of the Council must be informed.”

Master Ti nodded.

“I’ll put out a notification to all the members of the Council.”

“Tell them to meet me there. We’re going to need the best fighters the Council has got,” said Obi-Wan, and took off running for the hangar.

Normally Obi-Wan was a deliberate and careful driver, but today he took a leaf out of Anakin’s book, swerving in and out of different lanes of traffic and sometimes squeezing in between other speeders. He made it to Senator Amidala’s residence in record time, and parked the speeder on one of the walkways to her building.

As he was getting out of the speeder, a second, much larger speeder parked nearby, and Jedi Masters began clambering out of it.

It was Master Windu who leapt out of the speeder first, and went striding towards the stairs that led to Senator Amidala’s apartment. Obi-Wan followed immediately after, aware of Grand Master Yoda, hobbling with surprising speed just behind him. The door to the apartment was open, and Master Windu walked right in.

Anakin was fighting Palpatine with unexpected ferocity, but Obi-Wan could see that his strength was flagging, and it was only sheer strength of will keeping him going. Senator Amidala was standing in one corner of the room, her eyes on the far side of the room where a vaguely familiar-looking woman was holding Anakin’s children, her eyes glued the battle going on in front of her.

Master Windu joined Anakin in the battle, and Obi-Wan could sense his relief and thankfulness as together, they began driving the Chancellor into a corner of the room.

But the Chancellor wasn’t going down easily.

“You will not get the better of me!” Palpatine was yelling as he fought. “Anakin, you cannot do this! Think of how much you mistrust the Jedi, of the hatred you bear for them! They treated you like a slave for years! Together, we can rise up against them – together –”

Obi-Wan’s heart lurched at those words, wondering whether they truly reflected Anakin’s viewpoint, but Anakin never faltered, closing in on Palpatine with deadly intent.

Suddenly, Palpatine deactivated his lightsaber, and Obi-Wan wondered what the man was doing.

“Surrender now,” Master Windu ordered.

There was a moment of warning in the Force, and the next moment, lighting burst from Palpatine’s raised hands. Anakin ducked just in time – but Master Windu did not. He screamed as the lightning hit him, and Palpatine’s cackling laugh filled the air, the Sith Lord gloating over the Jedi Master’s pain.

Obi-Wan ignited his lightsaber and began to move forward, even though there was limited space in the room, because something had to be done –

But Anakin suddenly lunged, swinging his lightsaber underneath the lightning to neatly bisect with Palpatine’s midsection. The lightning abruptly stopped.

Palpatine let out a gurgling sound, blood bubbling from his lips, and Obi-Wan felt the surge of dark power at the same time as the other Jedi did.

“Everyone out!” Master Windu gasped, and Obi-Wan watched Anakin whirl, his first thought for his children, helping the woman holding them to her feet.

“Run!” he yelled, pushing her towards the door, before half-dragging Master Windu from the room. Senator Amidala was already gone, having followed the woman holding her babies.

Obi-Wan scrambled after all of them, just in time.

The blast of dark energy from the dying Sith Lord exploded like a bomb. Behind them, part of the apartment building was collapsing, and Obi-Wan hurried down the stairs behind everyone else.

Finally, all of them emerged onto the walkway that connected Senator Amidala’s building to the one next door. Senator Amidala and Anakin immediately took their children from the woman who was holding them, thanking her and holding the babies close.

Feeling utterly shaken, Obi-Wan struggled a little to collect himself. He’d known, of course, that Palpatine was a Sith Lord… but to actually see him in action, knowing what was at stake, had been horrifying. It was only halfway through the afternoon, and already Obi-Wan felt exhausted.

Anakin and Senator Amidala looked even worse, and no doubt they would wish to simply spend the rest of the afternoon recovering from the shocks of today – however…

Obi-Wan checked the time, and turned towards the two.

“The Senate convenes in thirty minutes,” he said, and Anakin looked at Senator Amidala.

“Given the circumstances, we would be perfectly willing to give you a lift to the Senate building, and ensure that the four of you are protected,” Obi-Wan added. “Without your help, I fear that the Jedi would have perished this day.”

“Agree with Obi-Wan, I do,” Grand Master Yoda added seriously.

One of the babies chose to make a grab for Master Windu’s nose right at that moment, and Obi-Wan felt his lips twitch slightly as Master Windu looked at the child in surprise, careful to suppress the expression as Master Windu suddenly looked at him.

“Are you willing to act as their protective detail, Master Kenobi?”

“Of course,” said Obi-Wan. “It is the least I can do, considering.”

He held Anakin’s gaze for a moment, wondering if Palpatine’s words about how Anakin viewed the Jedi had been true. But Anakin looked away, and began cooing at the baby in his arms.

“I’m coming with you,” said the woman who had been holding the babies – and Obi-Wan finally placed her as one of the former Queen of Naboo’s handmaidens. “Someone will need to watch the babies while the two of you are talking politics.”

Senator Amidala thanked her.

Master Ti was already calling emergency services to assist with Senator Amidala’s apartment building and anyone injured in the partial collapse. Obi-Wan waited as Senator Amidala and Anakin exchanged heartfelt glances, communicating without words. Only when Anakin turned and looked at Obi-Wan did Obi-Wan say, “I parked this way.”

The small group walked over to where Obi-Wan had parked the speeder. It said a lot about how wrung-out Anakin was that he didn’t insist on driving, but merely climbed into the back seat and closed his eyes.

Obi-Wan glanced back at him in worry, but when the child in Anakin’s arms patted his face in obvious concern (and exactly how powerful in the Force _was_ the child, to be able to sense Anakin’s distress so easily and at such a young age?), Anakin opened his eyes and spoke to the baby in a reassuring voice.

Senator Amidala, likewise, was busy reassuring the other twin as her former handmaiden climbed in beside her, making the back seat a little cramped. Obi-Wan sent the three of them one last look to check that they were genuinely fine – despite their distress – before starting the speeder and driving towards the Senate building.

Obi-Wan was tired enough that it took him real effort to drive through peak-hour Coruscant traffic, and most of his focus. Thus, it was not until Anakin had gone to sit in his place in the Senate, and Obi-Wan had accompanied Senator Amidala to hers, that Obi-Wan had a chance to sit and _think_. And what he found himself thinking about, as the Senate rolled into the emergency session, was Palpatine’s last words.

To Anakin.

_Think of how much you mistrust the Jedi, of the hatred you bear for them! They treated you like a slave for years!_

Palpatine had shouted those words at Anakin, and Anakin hadn’t paid them any attention, as far as Obi-Wan could tell – too focused on closing in on the Sith Lord. But now, as Obi-Wan thought about it, he couldn’t help but wonder – because Anakin had shown no astonishment at those words, no indignation or shock. He had given no sign, in fact, that Palpatine’s words had not been _true_ – as Anakin saw them, at least.

Obi-Wan pictured Anakin’s expression of deadly resolve, the way that his expression had hardened when Palpatine had spoken to him – and knew, with a sinking heart, that if Anakin had really disagreed with the former Chancellor, then he would have repudiated the other man’s words. But instead Anakin – who had always been outspoken and quick to defend others from injustice – had remained silent, and that in itself indicated tacit agreement.

Which meant that Anakin mistrusted and hated the Jedi, and believed that they had treated him like a slave.

 _No,_ Obi Wan thought. _How can he believe it?_

To Obi-Wan, there was a world of difference between the confines of slavery and the monastic life of the Jedi Order, so stark that he could not, at first, conceive of any way in which Anakin might have confused the two. Slavery was slavery, and the Jedi Order was something else altogether.

But then a little voice in Obi-Wan’s head said, very softly: _But Anakin never chose either._

Obi-Wan swallowed, because that was true: Master Qui-Gon had taken Anakin from Tatooine with his mother’s permission – but he had bought him, first, from Watto. By the rules that governed Tatooine – reprehensible as they were – Anakin was _his_. Anakin had seemed happy to leave, barring his sorrow at leaving his mother – but what if he hadn’t been? No doubt Anakin knew from long experience that arguing with someone who owned him was pointless, even dangerous – and would Master Qui-Gon even have listened, had Anakin had his reservations about becoming a Jedi?

Obi-Wan knew the answer to that one – yes, Master Qui-Gon would have listened, carefully and intently, and done his best to quell Anakin’s fears – and then would have done exactly as he had intended all along, and brought Anakin back to the Jedi Temple on Coruscant.

 _But it wasn’t like that,_ Obi-Wan tried to argue inside his head, _Master Qui-Gon only bought him to free him, to bring him to a better life – he didn’t_ own _him –_

But the question was, did _Anakin_ know that?

As the Senate debated for the next several hours, a disturbed Obi-Wan had nothing to do but contemplate a line of thought that was abhorrent to him – and yet, one which he felt he _must_ follow to its logical conclusion.

Obi-Wan thought of how sullenly Anakin had accepted the strictures of the Jedi Order. It had seemed natural, at the time, for a boy who had never been raised within the Order to question the new rules he must abide by. Obi-Wan had always done his best to carefully explain the reasons behind those rules – but others, he knew, hadn’t been so patient, telling Anakin that he must follow the rules whether he understood them or not. Obi-Wan had told himself at the time that the structure was good for Anakin, but now…

…now he wondered: had the rules which governed the Jedi seemed as pointless and as petty as the ones which he had been bound to follow as a slave?

 _Surely not,_ Obi-Wan thought. Yet he could not help but wonder, and the fact that there was any question in his mind at all left him feeling sick at heart.

Obi-Wan tuned back into the proceedings of  the Senate as Senator Amidala was nominated as the next Supreme Chancellor of the Republic, and smiled a little at her stunned expression, and the air of satisfaction radiating from her former handmaiden. But he remained pensive as the emergency session finally came to an end, and he escorted Senator Amidala, her former handmaiden, and her two infant children through the building.

Senator Amidala’s progress was halted when the Senator for Alderaan – the same man who had nominated her for the position of Chancellor, Obi-Wan noted, somewhere in his mind, still preoccupied with other thoughts – hailed her, and the two fell into conversation.

By coincidence, Obi-Wan’s comm went off at roughly the same time, and he stepped back for a moment to take the call. It proved to be Master Windu, informing Obi-Wan that he had arranged for temporary accommodation of Senators Amidala and Skywalker at the Jedi Temple, should they wish to accept it.

“I’m sure they will be most grateful,” Obi-Wan said, as evenly as he could.

“Will they?” Master Windu gave him a level stare, and Obi-Wan knew that he was not the only one troubled by Palpatine’s last words to Anakin.

Obi-Wan hesitated, and Master Windu nodded.

“That’s what I thought,” he said, and ended the call.

It wasn’t long before Anakin joined the small group. He looked faintly refreshed since Obi-Wan had last seen him, but still tired and weary.

He took his introduction to Senator Organa with a good grace, smiling and shaking the other man’s hand as Senator Amidala introduced the two of them. But then, Obi-Wan thought wryly, the Senator for Alderaan hadn’t blinked an eye at Anakin’s attire, unconventional as it was for a senator, nor shown any signs of the disapproval that seemed to follow Anakin around. Besides which, Obi-Wan was vaguely aware that Senator Amidala and Senator Organa had known each other for a long time – and anyone that Senator Amidala respected had no doubt earned Anakin’s tolerance, at the very least.

Anakin bore up well under the small talk that followed, before Senator Organa finally excused himself.

Senator Amidala immediately turned to Anakin and blurted, “He nominated me for Supreme Chancellor of the Republic!” with such a palpably stunned air that Obi-Wan wasn’t really surprised when Anakin burst out laughing.

“Well, I’m going to vote for you,” Anakin snickered, his expression amused and affectionate.

Obi-Wan took the opportunity to clear his throat.

“During the Senate session, Master Windu arranged for temporary accommodation for you within the guest quarters of the Jedi Temple, if you wish to use them. I fear that finding any other secure accommodations at this time of day will be a fruitless task.”

Anakin abruptly sobered, his expression forming a blank mask – proof that he was anything but pleased about returning to the Temple, Obi-Wan noted with dismay.

Senator Amidala seemed able to correctly read Anakin’s expression, if her own was any indication – sympathetic, but firm.

“Come on, Anakin. After the day we’ve had, I can’t wait to relax. And Obi-Wan’s right, finding secure accommodation right now would be a nightmare.”

Anakin sighed, but conceded the point.

“Sabe, thank you so much for your help today,” said Senator Amidala, turning to her former handmaiden. “I’m so sorry you got caught up in everything. I never expected Palpatine to come after us.”

“Will you be able to get home safely?” Anakin asked, as Sabe handed over the two babies to Senator Amidala.

Sabe smiled briefly.

“It shouldn’t be a problem. I’m fully capable of taking care of myself, Senator. Padme, try not to feel too bad. I know you never would have left Leia and Luke if you’d had any idea Palpatine might come after them.”

“You know me too well,” Senator Amidala sighed, and smiled wearily. “Get home safe, Sabe.”

With Sabe gone, it was only Anakin, Senator Amidala, and the twins who followed Obi-Wan back to the speeder, which had been parked in the allotted parking space for the Senator for Tatooine.

“You know,” Anakin said, as they all climbed into the speeder, “when all of this is over, we should take a vacation to Tatooine. Mom would love to see the babies.”

“As soon as we have the time, we will.” Senator Amidala’s smile was soft, and private, and made Obi-Wan feel uncomfortably like he shouldn’t be there to witness it.

But Anakin only smiled, and closed his eyes.

Several minutes passed, and Anakin didn’t stir.

“He’s asleep, isn’t he?” Obi-Wan asked eventually.

“He is,” Senator Amidala said levelly. One of the babies babbled something unintelligible, and she said, “Is that right, darling?”

“I’ll be expected to return to the Temple and give my report on the Senate session,” said Obi-Wan, still feeling a little uncomfortable, “which will likely take the rest of this evening, however I would greatly like to speak to Anakin as soon as possible. Would tomorrow be suitable?”

He could feel Senator Amidala’s suddenly intent gaze on the back of his head.

“You’ll be expected,” Senator Amidala repeated, and there was something in her voice that Obi-Wan could not identify. “Have you ever defied expectations, Obi-Wan?”

Obi-Wan was taken aback by the question.

“I would say so,” he responded honestly, wondering what was behind it.

“Hmm,” said Senator Amidala, and was silent for a moment. “I’ll make sure that Anakin is available to see you, but I don’t promise that he’ll want to talk to you, or say anything you want to hear. Would you be free to stop by at eleven?”

“That would be fine,” said Obi-Wan, trying not to let on how unsettled he was by her answer. “Thank you.”

Anakin slept the rest of the way back to the Temple, and grumbled blearily when he was woken.

“Get _up_ , Ani,” said Senator Amidala irritably. “You’re not the only one who’s had an exhausting day, and unlike you, some of us didn’t fall asleep in the Senate chambers in the middle of a session once we’d said our piece.”

“I was only closing my eyes,” Anakin argued, and Obi-Wan didn’t quite manage to contain his snort of amusement.

Anakin sent him a startled, vaguely wary glance.

“By the way, Obi-Wan wants to talk to you tomorrow,” Senator Amidala went on, handing Anakin one of the babies she was holding. “I told him that you’d be free at eleven.”

“Ah,” said Anakin, and no more. His expression was difficult to read.

There was a young padawan waiting in the hallway outside the hangar, in a pose of meditation. She scrambled to her feet as she saw Obi-Wan, and bowed.

“What is it?” Obi-Wan asked, trying, and failing, to remember the child’s name. He didn’t have much to do with the other Master’s padawans, and trying to remember all their names was a difficult task when he barely knew any of them.

“Master Windu sent me to show the senators to their rooms, Master Kenobi,” the padawan piped up.

“Very well,” said Obi-Wan, and glanced at Anakin and Senator Amidala. “In that case, I will leave the senators in your capable hands.” He hesitated, and added, “Tomorrow, Anakin, Senator Amidala,” before giving them a brief bow, and retreating.

Obi-Wan’s report to the Council of the Senate session took some time. When it was finally done, Obi-Wan got himself some dinner, and went straight to bed.

He was up early the next morning, meditating for several hours before he went to see Anakin. Part of him already recoiled at the way Anakin was likely to respond to Obi-Wan’s questions: but the rest of Obi-Wan found it necessary to ask them, all the same.

Obi-Wan found his way to the guest quarters Anakin and Senator Amidala had been given, and knocked on the door. It was Anakin who opened it, staring at Obi-Wan with an expression that Obi-Wan found difficult to interpret.

“Well, let’s get this over with,” Anakin said, and waved him in.

Anakin took a seat in one of the simple chairs, and Obi-Wan did the same. There was no sign of Senator Amidala or the babies.

“Padme decided to give us some privacy for this discussion,” Anakin said, as though he’d read Obi-Wan’s mind. “So go ahead and say whatever it is you need to say.”

Obi-Wan swallowed, and wet his lips.

“Anakin,” he said. “Palpatine’s words to you, that you hated the Jedi and felt that we had treated you like a slave… were they true?”

Anakin was silent for a long moment, looking conflicted.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” Anakin said at last, and Obi-Wan experienced a brief moment of confusion until Anakin added, “and if I tell you the truth, I will.”

“It can be no worse than my imaginings,” said Obi-Wan, trying, even now, to reassure his former padawan. Habit, he supposed. “I must know.”

Anakin sent him a look of dark amusement at the first statement, for reasons Obi-Wan didn’t understand.

“Fine,” Anakin said, leaning back. “Yes. They were true.” He spoke so casually that for a moment, the full import of his words escaped Obi-Wan.

Then the meaning of them washed over him, like a cold wave.

“ _Yes?_ ” repeated Obi-Wan, disbelievingly: he had thought himself prepared for this answer, but discovered now that it was a false belief: Anakin’s words shook him to the core.

Obi-Wan groped for words.

“But _why?_ ” he eventually managed.

Anakin shrugged.

“Too many similarities between my time as a slave, and my time as a Jedi,” he said simply.

Obi-Wan shook his head, and tried to marshal his thoughts.

“The Order is not slavery, Anakin. You were free to leave at any time.”

“Oh, really?” asked Anakin. “As a child alone in the galaxy, with nowhere to go and no resources, and my only living family still a slave?” His tone was mocking.

“Provisions would have been made for you,” said Obi-Wan. “You would not simply have been turned loose and expected to fend for yourself, not once the Order had taken responsibility for you. The sector orphanage, perhaps –”

Anakin burst out into bitter laughter. Obi-Wan stopped, confounded by that reaction.

“Where they’re chronically over-occupied and understaffed, and the funding cuts are greater with every year that passes? No thanks,” said Anakin, once he had stopped laughing.

Obi-Wan sat there, at a loss.

“Explain to me,” he said finally, “how you can think that service in the Jedi Order is the same as slavery.”

Anakin sat forward, his expression suddenly intense.

“Do you really want that explanation, _Master?_ ”

Obi-Wan didn’t flinch as the word was flung at him, but it was a near thing.

“Yes,” he said, and met Anakin’s eyes steadily.

Anakin took a deep breath.

“You are slaves to a philosophy,” he said in a rush, as though he couldn’t wait to get the words out – as though he had been keeping them bottled-up for a long, long time, Obi-Wan thought.

“None of you ever chose this life. You could choose to leave, but why would you? You were indoctrinated from childhood, taught to believe that the way of the Jedi is the only way, that the only alternative is the way of the Sith, and therefore evil. You don’t chafe against the restrictions of the Code, because they’re all you’ve ever known. And if you _do_ chafe against them – well, it must be something wrong with _you_ , right? Something to be suppressed, and erased if at all possible. No, it couldn’t possibly be that the Jedi Code _itself_ is flawed.”

Something of Obi-Wan’s feelings must have shown either on his face or in the Force, because Anakin abruptly stopped and sighed, shaking his head.

“The Order tells you how to behave, how to dress, how to _feel_ , on all things. There’s no room for anyone who wants to live differently. In the end, it all comes down to choice. No one ever _chooses_ to become part of the Order. They’re brought up that way from the time they’re very small children, babies even, and never know anything different. How are they supposed to _choose_ to forsake emotion and attachments when they were never allowed to have them in the first place? They’re taken from their families before they’re even old enough to understand what family _is_. It’s not only the Force which connects every living thing, Obi-Wan but compassion and affection, anger and fear. The fact that the Jedi Order expects you all to live _without emotion_ disturbs me, because of how unnatural a state that is.”

Anakin let out a long breath, and continued.

“Then there’s the fact that you’re all conditioned to see leaving the Order as a profound failure instead of as a different path in life, which is why you were all so shocked when I did it.” He shook his head again. “There’s no _choice_ in the Order, Obi-Wan, and _that_ is why it is like slavery.”

Obi-Wan just stared at him.

Yes, Anakin’s words were true, from a certain point of view, but… Anakin’s opinions were so radically different from any perspective that Obi-Wan had ever encountered before that he was struck dumb by them.

 _Anakin never was a Jedi_ , Obi-Wan thought, and realised the truth of that statement at last.

“You really believe that,” Obi-Wan said, and couldn’t keep the pain from his voice.

“I do,” Anakin said. He gentled his tone. “I’m sorry, Obi-Wan. But you did ask.”

“Yes, well.” Obi-Wan got to his feet – somehow. He felt off-balance, as though his world had tilted on its axis. “And now I have your answer.”

Anakin’s expression turned conflicted.

“Obi-Wan,” he said, and Obi-Wan paused to look back at him.

“You’re a good man,” said Anakin sombrely. “But sometimes even good men exist within terrible structures.”

Obi-Wan gave him a short nod, and turned and left Anakin’s quarters, mind and emotions churning.

Halfway to the sparring hall, Master Windu fell into step beside him.

“I could feel your inner conflict from the other side of the Temple,” he said. “What happened?”

Obi-Wan stopped, and said, “Anakin…” and could say no more, because the pain was too great.

Master Windu waited patiently, and finally the pain ebbed enough for Obi-Wan to say, “He makes the accusation that being in the Order is like slavery.”

Master Windu’s calm expression did not change.

“How so?”

Obi-Wan shook his head.

“He… he says that there is no choice in the Order, that we take young children and mould them into what we want them to be, without ever obtaining their consent – oh, not in so many words, but that was what he _meant_. He says that we are told how to behave and how to feel without ever being allowed to make those decisions for ourselves.”

Obi-Wan knew, from the Order records, that he had been taken from his family at the age of two years old. He carried nothing of them with him, save for the name they had given him. They were a blank space in Obi-Wan’s life, never to be thought of or wondered about.

But now, Obi-Wan thought of Anakin’s words, and how clear it had been that Anakin believed that taking young children from their families was wrong. Anakin had known his family all his life, and that had obviously affected his views. For the first time, Obi-Wan found himself wondering: _If I too had known my family, would I disagree with the Order’s policies?_ But he said none of this aloud.

Master Windu was silent for a moment.

“And you cannot reconcile your own view of the Order with the fact that Skywalker spoke the truth.”

Obi-Wan stared at him in mute shock.

Master Windu sighed.

“This is hardly the first time someone has accused us of twisting young minds,” he said. “It’s one of the reasons why there is a certain amount of Senatorial oversight, even though the Senate mostly leaves us to govern ourselves.”

“But…” Obi-Wan started, unable to believe what he was hearing.

“We teach children to go against their natural instincts,” Master Windu went on, calmly, as though his words weren’t doing a number on Obi-Wan. “But all of civilised life is about going against one’s natural instincts, and to behave as a decent member of society instead. Does the Jedi Order take it further than the rest of society? Yes. But we do so because it is necessary, in order to become fully in-touch with the Force, and to fulfil our responsibilities. And why do we teach these skills to children?” Master Windu gave Obi-Wan a look.

“Because there is only a small window of opportunity in which these skills can truly be learned,” Obi-Wan murmured. “But Mace… does that make it _right?_ ”

Anakin’s impassioned denunciation nagged at Obi-Wan, despite Master Windu’s attempted reassurance.

“Only you can answer that question,” the other Jedi Master answered seriously. “Contemplate it, and discover your answer.”

“It goes against everything the Order has ever taught –” Obi-Wan began, and broke off – because that was the point, wasn’t it? Either the Order was right, and Anakin had fundamentally misunderstood it – or otherwise, everything Obi-Wan knew was _wrong._

Master Windu looked at him with dark eyes.

“Skywalker is a rare being,” he said, and Obi-Wan blinked at the apparent change in subject. “He is one of the few individuals who finds his focus in emotion, rather than in the lack of it, and yet utterly rejects the way of the Sith.” Master Windu’s expression was meditative. “He walks on the edge of darkness, and yet never enters it.”

Obi-Wan thought of Anakin’s unshakeable determination to _do good_ , and shook his head.

“And he never will,” he said with conviction, because that, at least, he was sure of.

Master Windu smiled slightly.

“I suspect that you are right.” He rested a hand on Obi-Wan’s shoulder, an unexpected gesture of kindness, coming from him. “You are in no state to spar, Obi-Wan. Go and meditate, and resolve your current conflict.”

“You are right, of course,” said Obi-Wan, shaking his head. “At this point, I am barely fit to hold a blaster, let alone spar with a weapon as dangerous as a lightsaber.” He hesitated, before adding, “Thank you.”

“Any time,” said Master Windu, evenly but sincerely, and left Obi-Wan to his thoughts.

Obi-Wan took a deep breath, and tried to find balance.

 

**Author's Note:**

> _To read the incomplete 3rd fic in this series, go[here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2401292/chapters/14572150). It's from Shmi's POV, and covers her rescue by Anakin and the beginnings of Anakin's Tatooine revolution._


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